After 13 years in education, I’m failing.
I’m failing as a teacher, I’m failing as a motivator, and I’m failing as a confidant.
There are a handful of kids in my class this year that are really putting me through the ringer. They are mentally wiping me out. And because of this, I’m failing.
I’ve mentioned “Tommy” before. “Tommy” is failing…literally. He has difficulty reading, writing, with math, speaking in sentences, and his behavior is out of control. He hits, whines, and just makes teaching a simple lesson the hardest thing in the world to do. I have talked with the parents, he has a tutor, he is on medication, I’ve recommended neurological testing, the administration is informed. It’s to the point where I just want to give up. I’m tired and it’s only November.
Then there is “Jim.” “Jim” is honestly one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. He struggles academically, but I am in close contact with his parents and his tutor, and with a bit of TLC, he will reach grade level expectations. But recently, he acts like the class clown. He dismisses all that I try to say, any form of punishment that I have given. I have even tried positive reinforcement by rewarding him for one simple day of great behavior…nothing.
“Brad” is another one. He has a hearing issue. This hampers his ability to speak in complete sentences. He has a wonderful memory, but applying his understanding is difficult. This one I can work with. He at least tries.
But still, I am failing. I am failing these 3 gems that have been placed at the top of my barrel because I just can’t seem to reach them. I am failing the rest of the class who could also use some individual time.
I am failing the whole class because I am not happy in the classroom at all. I feel like all I do is reprimand kids all day. My poor little quiet rule followers are being pushed aside because 99% of my time is on the ones who are struggling and are behavior problems.
I really just want to give up.
Alexis
Oh, dear. That sounds rough. I have two little boys in school, and while they are well behaved and high achievers, I have witnessed such children as you are struggling with. And I have seen how it can distract the entire class. I feel for my own boys, and I feel for their teacher. Frankly, any teacher is a true godsend as I would never have the patience! Hang in there. visiting you from the wild weds hop.
ReplyDeleteTeaching has got to be one of the toughest jobs and I applaude you. I can only imagine the frustration that is being felt by you and the little guys that are struggling through. Though I have no "pearls of wisdom" to share, I think the fact that you recognize the situation and are still willing to go back, makes you an awesome teacher.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
Sandie
P.S. Following from Wild Weekend Hop and http://spigotblog.blogspot.com
I think you are a wonderful teacher. You deserve a hand! being a teacher is one of the hardest jobs I have ever had to do. When I taught ESL I had a class one time that put me in the hospital over their problems. Please take care of your self and ask for lots of administrative help. Perhaps you can request an aid or volunteer help. I am a new follower from the Wild weekend hop. Hope you stop by and follow if you like.
ReplyDeleteI don't see any of it as your failure, Alexis! You've done your part cooperating with their parents and tutors regarding the condition, but there are things that beyond our control. Stop being hard on yourself. I can see that you're a good teacher, and it's tough choice. You wouldn't last 13 years if you're not a good one. But as much as teaching is rewarding, it's absolutely an uphill climb. I hope you didn't give up! =) Daniele @ C2Educate.com
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